Every 2,369 years, roughly, a man of such insurmountable swagger and athleticism is born. This being is known to have many powers, all of which add to his swagger levels. It is commonly known that said swagger levels are roughly over the 9000 mark, depending on the person. The powers this being possesses are powers only a man can dream of. Not a single man in history, except the blessed few, have possessed these powers. The pussy slayer, Wilt Chamberlain, has not obtained these powers. The iron clubbed Tiger Woods hasn't felt the grace that these powers bring. Not even the poontang-mashing political extraordinare, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, has ruled with such a power of this. The one to possess these powers are said to be praised as a God by every member of the Adult Film Industry, and more importantly by Russell Brand. The power to simply flash the "shocker" sign and cause multiple orgasms in every female in a 69 mile radius, to ejaculate at will with no worry of replenishing his golden semen, and possess a targeted female's mind by rubbing his left nipple in a counter-clockwise fashion. These powers and even more yet to be discovered, are the forever elusive desire of every man to ever live, except of course the blessed few. Very little is known about the select few to have these powers grace them, as most of the men were born in the B.C. era. However, the one notable man to possess these powers is the great and wise Socrates.
Socrates, from a normal perspective, is one of the greatest philosophers of all time. However, in the unwritten story of Socrates, he is truly the greatest pussy slayer in the years before the birth of Christ. (Jesus was an exception to the 2,369 year rule, as he possessed these powers and more to do as he pleased. The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin afterall.) Socrates since the age of 3 was mashing vagina at an incredible rate. It is unknown to the public domain, but he was known for "eatin' that pussy" for both breakfast and lunch, saving his blessed semen for his nightly orgies consisting of most of the Pre-Christ female population. The world population at the time of Socrates' birth was roughly 85 million, but thanks to Socrates and his incredible powers, by the birth of Christ the world population had rose to over 500 million. There is a very high chance that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great...grandma (and maybe even grandpa, if you're lucky), was pile-drived by the great Socrates. But I'm going to far with Socrates. You know most of his story at least, great mind and all. So let's talk a bit about the newest cumming of the holy powers.
In the year of 2004, a normal man, a simple average Joe, produced the most holy of sperm that occurs only once every 2,369 years. This holy sperm that blessed the ovaries of a just-as-simple woman, thus creating an orgasm so massive, it caused a 9.1 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Sumatra. As estrogen filled the female's body, the holy sperm was working it's magic to create the next Sex God. The man, who we will term "Big Papi", rolled over next to his mate, or "Woah Mama", feeling accomplished. Neither of them will ever expect what was to come, more specifically from Woah Mama's uterus. The world were to be blessed again, and the lives of Big Papi and Woah Mama would forever change.
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